Some months ago, I wrote about 5 underlying reasons why people are fat. (click here to read that post)

Today, I’m going to tackle some probable causes for why you haven’t be able to lose that weight — yet.  It’s time to be blunt.

DISCLAIMER: If you aren’t ready to really look under the floorboards about this, PLEASE STOP READING HERE.

There you go.  You’ve been warned, now let’s get into it.

Here are 4 characteristics you must embrace in order to come out triumphant in this situation:

  1. Courage
  2. Vulnerability
  3. Willingness
  4. Persistence

Without these, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to come out on top in your struggles with your weight.


Courage is where life begins.

Pay attention to how much and how often you obsess about your weight. What is your attitude towards it? What are your thoughts as you look in the (full-length) mirror? How difficult is it to love everything about what and who you see in that reflection?

I don’t think I could say it any better than body message expert Luis Martins Simoes, who wrote:

What prevents the obese person from losing weight is that he first looks at what he would like to be, instead of looking at what he is. First, we need to accept ourselves as we are. One needs to accept the image conflict, the conflict of appearance. It is necessary to love everything about oneself. To vibrate a genuine vibration- Luis Martins Simeos, from: Does the Body Lie?

So, what are the implications of this?

What does it mean to you?

How could you use it?

Simoes’s quote addresses a very fundamental aspect of why you DON’T lose weight: because you are unable to get to the point of acceptance of that’s where you are at.

It is more likely that you pine to be thin, either overtly or covertly, which creates emotional turbulence and polarity.


Look at the etymology of this word:

vulnerable (adj.)
c.1600, from Late Latin vulnerabilis “wounding,” from Latin vulnerare “to wound, hurt, injure, maim,” from vulnus (genitive vulneris) “wound,” perhaps related to vellere “pluck, to tear” – From Online Etymology Dictionary

If the root of this word comes from “wounding” or “to wound, hurt, injure, maim”, then it could be said that vulnerability is the ability to wound or hurt.

When you can accept that you have this ability, and so do others, you can start to tap into what Brené Brown calls, The Power of Vulnerability; especially when you accept that you may be using this ability against yourself.

This can mean looking past the fat, to the REAL You, who is perfect in every way, and embracing the challenges you need to transcend to extinguish your ‘negative’ karma .

DO THIS:  Complete this Discovery Statement:

How my life will look different after I lose all the weight is _________________.

What did you come up with?

A relationship? Love?? Success??? More Beautiful???? Recognition?????

Whatever it was for you, you must practice seeing past the external to the REAL You, at all costs.

For example: IF you don’t feel men will see you as attractive or beautiful until after you lose the weight, THEN it becomes your quest to see yourself as attractive and beautiful, “as-is”, before your body system can release its grasp on the extra fat.

Drill through all the bullshit that you are anything less than beautiful and worthy, learn a belief resolution technique (and apply it), enroll in The Intensive, do hypnosis, do something!!  Just never stop taking steps toward knowing your own worth.

Demonstrate to the Universe that you will not take ‘no’ for an answer.

At this point, if you don’t have what you want, it must still mean you have not reached the level of acceptance.

It may even be accepting that you don’t know why the Universe has wanted you to be this way, but if it does, so be it. Accept that may be the case and let it know that you are going to try anyways.


Holy cow, this is important.

You must demonstrate acceptance to the Universe. I can’t emphasize this enough.

What this DOESN’T mean, is that you become passive and “accept” things from a position-of-weakness.

Such as saying, “Ok, I’m fat. I’m fat. I’ve always been fat. I won’t ever be anything but fat. So, I will eat as many Bon-Bons as I want as an expression of love for what I want.”

Uh, no.

Accept things from a position-of-strength.

Such as saying, “Ok, I’m fat. So be it. But I got myself here somehow. I don’t know how, but it is my responsibility to find out and correct it. I will get to the bottom of this, no matter where it takes me.”

You may not like the “I got myself here somehow” part of the previous example. However, until you take radical personal responsibility and invoke the will to heal, it is likely you won’t.

The Universe needs to feel your alignment with your purpose for losing the weight. (hint: see VULNERABILITY)


“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”- Calvin Coolidge, (American 30th President of the United States, 1872-1933)

This is pretty self-explanatory.

When I triumphed over the severe depression I was experiencing in 2005, this was a foundational piece.

I simply said “No!” to everything that was not about finding the truth about what was going on inside me.

I said “No” to nearly everything new, but especially women.

For me, there was never a shortage of women, just an apparent shortage of the right woman for me.

My friends couldn’t believe that I was so committed to examining the common denominator –me.

All roads of dysfunction led me back to the same place –me.


I would not let go of the fact that it had to be me. It had to!

At first I felt like it was my ‘fault’ and that I must really be one majorly fucked up dude to feel this way.

Then I found out that if I continued to take the responsibility, less the blame, I could effect a change.

I found the constructive side of “me, me, me” by withholding blame and stopping my telling of ‘my story’ –it was keeping me stuck.

I found that I was the cause of all my suffering, but that meant I was the answer to it as well.


The right woman caught me when I wasn’t looking for it. She showed up when I was not trying to be anywhere else other than where I was.

She showed up when I (really) showed up. Not for anything or anyone else, just me.

I had truly connected with acceptance, which in turn opened me to authentic logic and love.


If you are doing what feels like the right things, yet are still not losing the weight, it simply means you have not yet arrived at the leverage point of where the Universe wants you at before you do so.

  1. Find the courage to keep going.
  2. Learn to be okay with not knowing where to look, or being wrong about what hasn’t worked, and keep going.
  3. Dig down and let the Universe know that you are invoking the will to remedy this weight thing, emit a clear tone that you will accept guidance and act on it.
  4. Don’t quit, ever!

Ok, wow. This one seriously long post, and a heavy one too, so thanks for staying with me!

To end on a light note, here’s a video clip that educates us on the dangers of creating a dystopian future for ourselves. There are too many hidden (and not so hidden) messages in this 3 minute clip to explore, so just enjoy it and let it mean whatever you want it to mean.

Screen Shot 2014-05-19 at 7.12.50 AM


Thanks again for your time today!

Go Deep – Take Action,






PS – Do you know someone who could benefit from reading this? Why not post it on your Facebook, Twitter of favourite social site? Cheers, T~